Monday, March 17, 2008

Message to my American Brethern and Sistern on Paddy's Day

First of all, Happy St Paddy's day. Before the Yanks got a hold of it, Paddy's day was mostly about going to Mass, and not a lot else. It needed some American razzmatazz. Without you, we would never have had fresh-faced, baton-twirling girls from the Midwest, marching down O'Connell Street in the pouring rain, while wearing impossibly tiny skirts, and managing to smile despite the frost bite. Of course, there is also the giant piss up that it has become. That, I believe, was imported from the streets of Manhattan, as was the parade idea. So, we owe you a big thank you. However, a couple of things - I am at pains to point out that I am not admonishing or lecturing you here, many of my favorite things (burritos, the electric guitar, to name just a couple), came from the U.S.'s need to borrow, improve, and make boat loads of cash from other cultures' traditions. In general, I wholeheartedly approve of this; however, there are two areas where you have fallen down. #1: we don't eat corned beef and cabbage. Ever. We do eat bacon (big, salty lump o' boiled ham), and cabbage (big lump o' cabbage with the arse boiled out of it). When I say we, I mean the collective we. Personally, I never eat bacon and cabbage because it tastes like old, boiled, salty sock. And I'm vegetarian. So, although you may like corn beef and cabbage, it ain't an Irish dish.

And #2 is the whole "Happy St Patty's Day" thing. I know Patrick has a "t" therein, however when abbreviated, we insert two "d's." We are awkward like that. Sorry for that, I realise it's not intuitive, but nevertheless when someone types "Happy St Patty's Day" to me, it makes me want to thump seven types of shite out of them, and that's not good, especially when they were only being nice.

There thats it. Happy Paddy's Day to you all.

Love, John.

P.S. Leave the Guinness alone. It can't be improved upon, and it only comes in two colors, black and white (always simultaneously), never green.

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Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

And Erin go bragh is Scots Gaelic. Still, who doesn't love St. Paddy's day? I hear there's a Proposition 3-17 calling for it to be made a National Day off.

10:55 PM  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Er...I heard it was Irish regiments in the British Army that held the first parades in NY back in the colonial days.

So I suppose we could blame the redcoats for the whole mess.

Guinness' brewmaster was in town yesterday for the day off thing.I wore black.Bah! humbug!

7:57 AM  
Blogger John Mc said...

Paddys day has always been fun in San Francisco, despite the whole amateur hour aspect to it. The last few years I've been playing music so it was extra fun. I didn't do anyhting this year, nothing is interrupting my triathlon training, also a friend had his 40th on Saturday, a toga party. I over vodka toniced, so I was happy to not drink yesterday.

Sam - I always down with another day off!

Devin - British army! That would be one for the books. I heard the parades were organised as a symbol of Irish American political power.

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ita not Paddys day its not Pattys day, but St Patricks Day.

2:19 PM  
Blogger John Mc said...


Really. Paddy is an accepted abbreviation of Patrick, Patty is not. St Paddy's is commonly used in Ireland ergo St Paddy's Day.

2:26 PM  
Blogger madness rivera said...

You have a defender of saints as a commentor. Impressive! I'm a big fan of St. Mo, or Saint Monica as Anon would have me know.

My father was Puerto Rican and my mother Irish American so you should hear the version of saint names we come up with . . .Feliz el dia de Santo Paddy!

11:28 AM  
Blogger John Mc said...


Puerto Rican, Irish, Paddy's day. Sounds like Christmas to me ... Santo Paddy, how perfect.

Might use that as a name for the next band I play with...

3:49 PM  
Blogger Medbh said...

The "Patty's" thing is like nails down a chalkboard to me.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Bock the Robber said...

Well done to the British Army for celebrating Patricius the Roman!

Now, what swine decided it should be held during the most miserable weather of the year?

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

really is right the abreviation is not used in Ireland. THats an American invention. They would be insulted. How about Abe Linc or Georgie Washing, I dont Think so?.

8:54 AM  
Blogger John Mc said...

Yes it is used in Ireland. I'm Irish, got that, I.R.I.S.H, and we DO call it St Paddy's. And no, we are not insulted. What does Abe Lincoln or Georgie Washington have to do with it ? Last I remember neither had been canonised yet.

9:59 AM  

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